First off, I'll just get this out of the way now: Happy Halloween. For everyone wondering what triumphant costume I will be disguising myself with on All-Hallows Eve 2009, I will be donning the wardrobe of the one and only Bill Lumbergh, the asshole boss from Office Space played with undeniable brilliance from Gary Cole. I will try my hardest to post some pictures from tonight's excursions. Hopefully the recent events that I will further document will not have a negative effect on my potentially enjoyable night of costumed friends and mind-altering festivities (booze, not acid).
The recent unfortunate events that I speak of come in the form of what was originally a full-proof flawless trip to the fabulous Las Vegas, that is now taking a sudden turn for the worst. The following will be the unfolding of these events and will span over multiple entries, as it is a lengthy story. And, fuck it, let's face it, I wanna keep you all on the edge of your seats with suspense, guessing how this will all pan out. Seeing that it's actually not over yet, I'm wondering how it's going to pan out as well. So here it is: the unfolding of a story in the time that it's actually being unfolded. At this point, it can go either way. It's unknown if this story will have a happy or a sad ending. If you would like to start taking bets at any time while reading this story, please feel free to do so. I do charge a 20% fee for use of my events from the winner.
So without further adieu, here is the vacation planning from hell...
It was Wednesday October 28th, 2009 just around 10:00 PM or so. I was sitting in my office working on my application for Flashpoint Academy and waiting for Justin to get to my place so we could leave for the bowling alley, as we do every Wednesday night. The application process was starting to give me a headache, so I decided to put it off to the side and ease my thoughts with some musical indulgence.
I was in a 311 mood (surprise, surprise) so I threw their entire catalog on random and escaped into the sweet sounds of upbeat and positive funk-rock. About five or six songs in, I started mentally reminiscing of the 311 show from this past summer. I was trying to remember just what was on the set-list for that show, so I decided to visit the 311 website to find out, as they keep records of all of the set-lists for every show from every tour dating as far back as 1999.
Upon visiting the site, I was immediately caught up in the banner that was lit up on my computer screen in front of my eyes. The plans for 3-11 Day 2010 had been set, and this time around, it was going to be held in non other than motherfuckin' Las Vegas!!! My heart definitely skipped a beat upon viewing the sweet combination of words spread out in front of me in huge letters. It was marketing at it's finest, and I was the innocent consumer wrapped up in this crazy game of consumerism.
Now, for those who don't know, the 3-11 Day concert is the biggest 311 show ever that is held every 11th of March, hence 3-11. In the city of New Orleans, the mayor actually declared it a holiday and, so far, they have played a show on 3-11 Day every even year since 2000 in New Orleans, with the exception of 2006, which was in Tennessee due to the damage caused by Hurricane Katrina rendering the New Orleans pretty much useless as a prospect to host such a big event. The show consists of an extended set-list, usually running for close to 6-hours and containing close to 70 songs. It's a 311 fan's wet dream of a show. And for the year 2010, New Orleans was again not able to host the show due to another event being held that would consume the majority of the hotel rooms in the city. So, in replacement, they have chosen to hold the show in Vegas. This is some of the greatest news I have ever received for 2 reasons:
1. My friends and I have been dying to attend the annual 3-11 Day concert since it's first presentation in 2000.
2. We have been trying to plan a trip to Vegas for the last year and a half.
We were now able to kill two birds with one stone, and it was a glorious feeling of accomplishment.
I immediately grabbed my phone and called Justin to tell him the almost unbelievable news. Even though he was going to be at my place in about five minutes, this was too big of a deal to wait even a mere 30 seconds to tell someone about. The conversation went as follows:
Justin: "Hello?"
Me: "Dude, I'm about to shit my pants."
Justin: "I'll be there in like five minutes."
Me: "No, sir, you don't understand. I have just found the answer to all of our prayers."
Justin: "And what's that?"
Me: "3-11 Day 2010 is taking place in Las fuckin' Vegas!!"
...there is a long pause...
Justin: "Get the fuck outta here..."
Me: "Dude, I'm staring at it's beauty on their website as we speak."
Justin: "No way..."
Me: "We're going, sir. We are fuckin' there!"
Justin: "No way..."
Me: "Pre-sale tickets go on sale tomorrow at 3:00. I'm getting the tickets and we can start looking at flights and hotels tonight after bowling."
Justin: "No way..."
Me: "We are going, sir. If we miss this, I will lose complete faith in humanity."
Justin: "No way..."
Me: "I'll talk to you more about it when you get here."
Justin: "No way..."
I hang up the phone and literally almost fall out of my chair as I leap off to head to the closet to find some clothes for the evening. At this point, I'm still in utter disbelief, still nowhere near the state of disbelief Justin was now in. I started thinking there is no way this is real, and if it is, something's going to go awry and we're not going to be able to attend. The tickets will be sold out too quickly. There won't be any hotel rooms available. There will no flights available. Someone might die mere days before March 11th. The world may be taken over by damned dirty apes before March 11th. Every fucking possible scenario, no matter how ridiculous and irrelevant went through my mind.
Justin shows up literally two minutes after I hang up the phone with him. Tool buzzes him in the door and he walks into my room and just stares at me. No words are spoken. Neither of us can find the words to speak. All that comes out is:
Me: "Dude..."
Justin: "Du... fuckin'... no wa.... dude!!"
We continue with our monosyllabic caveman-talk back and forth for a few more minutes before finally catching a grip on reality and opting to cruise to the bowling alley. We decide to make a pit-stop in the kitchen to shotgun a few brews before heading out. We vent the top and stab the bottom of the cans and down the bastards in seconds. We toss the cans in the recycling and head out to my car.
We get to the bowling alley and meet up with Jerry, Rob, and some girl Rob brought with him. They're about in the 3rd frame of their 2nd game, so Justin and I hit up the bar for some much needed and deserved $1.50 beers. We order up a few and walk back to our lane to wait for everyone else to arrive and the current game to finish. Soon enough, Phil, Katie, and Max arrive and the first crew finally finishes their game. Rob's girl peaces out and the rest of us divide into 2 lanes of 3 to start our games.
Throughout the night, we manage to fit in two games and a plethora of beers. At some point, Justin and I share the good word with Jerry, Rob and Phil, all of whom jump on board immediately. We finish up our games and then make plans to head back to my place to consume some more beers and further discuss plans for our trip to Vegas. We all part ways and head to my bachelor pad.
Justin and I cruise inside and Jerry, Phil and Katie follow closely behind us. Rob and Max called it a night and went home. We all get inside and immediately crack open some beers. We're all pretty bombed at this point, as we did some intense celebrating at the bowling alley in lieu of the future Vegas trip. I bust out my laptop at the kitchen table and we start going to work on the plans.
I learn very quickly that planning a trip to Vegas is not an easy task when you're loaded. It didn't help that I had never had to plan a trip this big before tonight, so I had no fucking idea as to what was a reasonable price and what was a rip off. Luckily, I had Katie sitting right next to me, who just recently took a trip to Vegas over the summer. She was only about half as drunk as the rest of us, so she was able to give me very limited, but some advice on hotel and flight booking.
After almost two more hours of beer consuming and potential vacation planning, we come up with the smartest and most logical idea of the night: instead of trying to figure everything out in our current state of extreme inebriation, and running the risk of fucking it all up, we should just write down all of the hotel and flight prospects and take a look at them tomorrow... when we're not all piss-drunk. I grab a pen and a pad of paper and start writing down every hotel name and some possible flights for the trip.
Justin and Katie cruise just around 3:00 AM. Jerry and Phil opt to crash on my couches, as they live much further than Justin and there is no way they are in any condition to drive. We all give a final toast of the evening, to which we agree "Vegas or bust." We slam the remaining beer in our cans and it's off to bed. I cruise into the bathroom, brush my teeth and take out my contacts. I then proceed to make it to my bed to pass out while watching The Mask of Zorro.
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